Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition staple Jessica Gomes is modeling topless and she looks fucking hot…you know, the kind of girl I’d agree to meet off the Internet, even though I have a strict policy of not meeting anyone off the Internet, because the Internet scares me and is filled with abnormal people. It makes me nervous when they are posing as hot bitches willing to meet me, because either they aren’t hot bitches at all…or if they happen to be hot bitches, they sure as hell aren’t stable. You see, I attract the weird ones because of my blog, and I just don’t wanna get murdered…unless it is by Jessica Gomes, but she’s no longer in that territory. She’s all famous and snobby and wanted by rich and famous dudes. The days of ordering her hot Aussie ass out of a catalog are done. Sads.
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