Ellen Checks Out Jennifer Aniston’s Hard Nips

The People’s Choice Awards were last night and I wasn’t invited because the mainstream media forgets how relevant I am. I refused to watch the shit, because the idea of celebrities being celebrated by each other is disgusting. I did, however, go through some of the pics. Sadly, none of them were exciting.

I think it is safe to say that the highlight of the night was when PERVERT LESBIAN ELLEN was caught staring at washed-up Jennifer Aniston’s nipples…even though both aren’t hot, and the idea of them fucking isn’t hot. It just brings up some real lesbian issues, like the fact that these dykes are allowed in female public washrooms and gym changing rooms to gawk at naked girls…like they were dudes, only unlike dudes, they are allowed to do these things. It is the biggest double standard in creeping and perversion that kinda makes me want get a sex change to be able to voyeur properly.

I am a genius. Ellen is a sex offender pervert. We will all survive.
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