Mila Kunis is Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive

I am going to call bullshit on Mila Kunis being the sexiest woman alive, because she is NOT the sexiest woman alive. That’s a bold fucking statement, making me wonder what the motives are here. Is it an ad deal for one of her upcoming movies? Is Ashton Kutcher an investor in Esquire, or a friend to Esquire, and did he trick the editors into making his girl the sexiest woman alive, since it makes him feel good about himself…and his possible small penis, that I would assume he has based on the amount of constant attention he draws to himself?

Maybe Esquire is run by Mila’s publicist who told them choose Mila or we’ll cut off the information supply, because before this photoshoot, Mila Kunis was never sexy. She was cute and nerds loved her, but even in a bikini or in movies, she was like the girl-next-door with a nice face that Ashton Kutcher violates when not masturbating to granny porn a.k.a. Demi Moore’s naked pics.

Sure she’s hot. Sure she takes a good photo and sure she looks fucking sexy with her shirt off and her ass all round and lovely in a bikini for Esquire…but I think this is the first time this sexy thing has happened for her…confusing me…but not making me complain too hard because she looks pretty amazing and I am a fan of amazing.

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