I fell in love with pictures of a Polish model named Magdalena Frackowiak yesterday…because she’s ridiculously hot…and because for someone like me who is borderline autistic, socially awkward, and most of the time drunk, falling in love with inanimate objects is far more fun than falling in love with real people, because real people just disappoint and 98 percent of the time aren’t really cool or interesting. Falling in love with an object, however, that shit gets you noticed. It’s kinda like the time I had a 3-day-long relationship with a bucket full of cooked spaghetti noodles. Getting caught consummating the relationship brought laughs to all…or that time I had a year-long relationship with a breast implant my crackhead friend stole from the hospital he stole his pills from.
Either way, Magdalena needs to be a bigger deal. Let’s do our part by masturbating to her little, skinny, model tits.
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