The Shallow Man Diaries (Part 71): The Field of Dreams Theory

I think the world is separated into two kinds of people—people who love “Field of Dreams,” and people who don’t have a heart.

If I was dating a woman and she said she didn’t like “Field of Dreams,” I’d immediately dump her. I’m not kidding, either. It says a lot about a person where they stand on “Field of Dreams.”

Back in college, I never really had one big test for prospective girlfriends. It was more like a series of smaller tests:

1. If they liked “Field of Dreams,” “Nightmare On Elm Street” and “Star Wars.”

2. If they liked going on rollercoaster rides.

3. If they didn’t mind the fact that I played 12 straight hours of videogames every Sunday.

4. If they got along with dogs.

5. If they felt comfortable wearing my Michael Jordan jersey to bed.

6. If they put up a token fight to pay on one of the first few dates.

7. If they laughed at the “The Great Cornholio” sketch on the “Beavis and Butthead” show.

And so on...

I was pretty picky back then.

Nowadays, big tits and a functioning vagina is good enough for me.
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