Nickelback Sucks, Part 2: Avril Lavigne Engaged To Nickelback Singer (This Is Your Cue To Laugh Until You Cry)


This post proves without a doubt the existence of Lucifer. The Devil is alive and has a really messed up way of screwing with our souls, because he has joined Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger together in an unholy union of suck.

Sometime before February, Avril Lavigne made the Canadian embassy in Hell cackle with laughter by getting on Nickelback singer Chad Kroeger. Their rep tells People that the two Canadian ear killers got close while working on a song together six months ago and now they’re engaged to be married. Chad gave Avril a 14-carat diamond ring on August 8th. This will be 37-year-old Chad’s first marriage and 27-year-old Avril’s second.

But for why are they engaged after only 6 months? Please don’t tell me she’s knocked up, because I’m really not ready for the Antichrist to rip apart the Earth’s crust by making the worst music civilization has ever heard.

It’s truly the end of days, because you know Ke$hit will be the maid of honor, Justin Bieber will officiate, and Creed’s Scott Stapp will be best man. Oh here go Hell come.

And the scariest words in the English language are officially: AVRIL KROEGER. I’m pretty sure that was the full name of the Devil’s first born.


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