Presenting The Penis Fish!!!

Urechis unicinctus is a type of marine spoon worm that is mostly known as the PENIS FISH!

Yeah, the ocean has given us a lot of annoying shit like limb-eating sharks and SpongeBob, so finally here’s a special gift from it to us sluts. It’s the dick fish! Yeah, they look more like wiggling, bloated, disfigured yams with urethras, but you’ve never been picky about dicks in the past, so why start now? If you threw a few genitals warts on one and dipped it in pickle juice, you’d get Vinnie from Jersey Shore’s peen!

Not only is the dick fish the ocean’s answer to a vibrator, but it’s food too. People eat it. Apparently, you can get the peen fish at many Chinese and South Korean fish markets. But if you really want to wrap your mouth around a peen fish, you better get to a fish market fast. Because once John Travolta finds out about this, he’s going to go to every South Korean fish market and at each South Korean fish market, he’s going to dip his ass in the peen fish tank and you know the rest...

And no, I’m not Googling “penis fish porn.” Not today. Not ever. I’m not trying to sucio up my browser with some fishiality shit.
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