Proof Tom Cruise isn’t Gay

I think this is pretty solid proof Tom Cruise is not gay.

I mean, I’ve heard rumors from people I know. I’m talking private pilots and old fags alike, totally unrelated with details of his gay adventures in Montreal. But after looking at this pic, I’m like, “This 50-year-old is so straight! He’s just promoting a Glam Rock movie he’s in. He’s not skinny for Freddy Mercury HIV reasons…and even if he was, that’s only the gay disease in the 80’s. Nowadays plenty of straight Africans and needle sharers have it too…and come on! There’s a girl with her hands down his pants and he’s not hard. Because real men don’t get hard in photo shoots—it’s unprofessional….unless in Tom Cruise’s case the photo shoot involves mud wrestling twinks.

Either way, gay or not, this pic of Tom Cruise is bad…and hysterical—especially for any dudes who had “Top Gun” movie posters on their bedroom wall growing up…you gang of queers.

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