Rihanna Half-Naked in Elle

Rihanna brings the sexy to Elle and she ran off her mouth about some bullshit that I didn’t bother reading because Rihanna is some uneducated prostitute and anything that she comes up with is probably words designed by another motherfucker on her payroll.

I have the inside scoop on the bitch from a friend who lives in Barbados. He told me that the Chris Brown beating was likely her hitting herself in the face to report him to the authorities to get him in trouble and ruin him because she thought he was cheating on her or some shit.

My source also told me Bajan women are evil if you get on their wrong side, and they will fucking drag you through the mud and piss on your face if needed—something I could see myself being into because I have no self-respect and when Rihanna looks like this…amazing.

I’d pretty much let her do whatever she wanted to me, including ripping off my penis in some tribal fucking ritual. Shit would go viral and I don’t need it—it’s pathetic and embarrassing anyway. At least now I’d have an excuse….am I right people?!

So here she is in Elle, half-naked, looking good, reminding us she’s crazy but can take a good beating and get over it, unlike all you “I was molested by my dad” or “my boyfriend is abusive” fat chicks who can’t fucking let go. Get over it, bitches!

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