Awkward Facebook Breakups


I introduced my Tita Vicky to the joys of Facebook over the holidays, and she soon developed an addiction to Farmville and snooping on people. I thought it was a step up from spying on our neighbors with binoculars (kidding, she doesn’t use binoculars), but I practically had to beg to use my own laptop while she was here.

Tita Vicky doesn’t have a personal computer so every once in a while she’ll ask me to check her Facebook account and tell her what’s going on. There’s a particular profile that she has me check out when she’s having FB withdrawal symptoms. You see, there’s this guy she apparently knew in high school that added her as a friend. She didn’t accept the request, but she checked out his profile nonetheless.

The dude in question doesn’t have many privacy settings on his Facebook profile so she could still check out his wall even though they weren’t friends, which is what led her to become addicted to the longest and messiest breakup in Facebook history. I swear the whole saga was more overly dramatic than your favorite soap opera.

I totally despise people emoting some totally narcissistic shit on Facebook. You know…the kind of status update that’s ambiguous, but meant for one person. Someone you wish knew just how much you loathe them. Ah, the joys of a relationship. Not always so pleasant when it’s your own bullshit, but hilarious when it’s other people going through the motions. That’s why I found these awkward Facebook breakups about herpes, text message proposals, small dicks and cheating bastards hilarious.








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