Adele has a Sex Tape!!!


Adele is fat. Adele pretends her album is about her breaking free from a bad relationship. What she doesn’t say is that bad relationship was with cake.

More importantly, Adele is rumored to be in a sex tape, but not necessarily with that chocolate cake.

Adele once said that she doesn’t have to dress like a hooker, to which I say it’s because no one wants to see her dressed like a hooker…because she is fat.

But all fat jokes aside, I was lying because it turns out I’d love to see this pudgy vocalist show the world why she really had throat surgery last year—it was thanks to excessive deep-throating.




I can’t be sure if it’s really her, but it sure as hell looks about right—same fat chin and same look of eagerness to be fed. I’m worried this is actually what the pics are of: Adele at the McDonald’s drive thru, so eager to get the Big Mac in her that it looks like she’s about to squirt.

Again, this may not be her. It probably isn’t her but fat chicks always try to impress their lovers and go the extra mile to please them…so it could be her…
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