Wow, I Just Hit 8,000 Pageviews A Day!!!

Thanks to all you sluts, I’ve hit another milestone this week: 8,000 PAGEVIEWS IN A SINGLE DAY! WHEEEEE! Or as Sally Field once said, “You like me! You really like me!”

This blog has grown much faster than I thought it could and I haven’t had a month since I started doing it seriously where I haven’t gained readers. Thanks to all of you perverted, snarky, dysfunctional and completely wonderful people! 

To celebrate, please join me for a toast of the ol’ Andre “It’s Not Really” Champagne! Since we’re in a fucking depression, a bottle of the elegant Andre will only set you back like $5. Yes, you will probably wake up to your head laying in a puddle of vomit on the other side of the room, but at least you’ll get to drink bubbly like you’re Kanye West. And some bottles of Andre even have a fucking resealable cap, so you can save some for morning mimosas. Seriously, this shit is trash and most likely made from household cleaning products, but I’ll be drinking it tonight. 

I leave you now with more pictures of the ghost of Lindsay Lohan’s future (LiLo wishes!), Courtney Love, giving everyone a whore de force performance and scarring me for life.

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