“Underworld: Awakening” Movie Review

Unknown to the vast majority of the blissfully ignorant population, a dark and shadowy conspiracy has long been going on right under our noses: Screen Gems keeps making Underworld movies. 

The latest has Kate Beckinsale reprising her role as bondage-doll warrior vampiress Selene, who’s awakened from suspended animation to discover a future where Brutalist architecture has made a huge comeback and where her kind and their archfoe, “lycans” (werewolves), have been hunted to near extinction in a mass purge as a sinister corporation seemingly plots to finish the job. 

Selene also discovers that she has begat a daughter, and an awakened maternal protectiveness spurs her to many a trench coat-flapping, guns-blazing promenade, set to the strains of those chugga-chugga tuff-sounding guitars, which dependably get the blood pumping for a segment of the population.

The action is defined by whirligig balletics and ample gushes of violence; the dialogue is stuff handed down through action movies ever since the first man walked away from a fireball in slo-mo.

The entire production is single-mindedly, earnestly devoted to serving up feats of BADASS, and it succeeds in this devotion to the exclusion of everything else. Plus, it’s KATE BECKINSALE IN 3-D! Enough said.

Grade ★ ★ ★ out of 5 stars
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