The 2012 Golden Globes Wrap-Up, Part 3: Narcissistic Old Queen vs. Narcissistic Old Queen

This is what old British cunt queen Elton John said on the Golden Globes red carpet last night about going up against his arch rival Madonna in the Best Song category: “Madonna hasn’t got a fucking chance.”

This is what happened a couple of hours later when the winner of Best Song was announced:

The OTHER old British cunt queen won and the look on Elton John’s face was a thing of bitter beauty. It’s like Elton inhaled the British queef (yes, she queefs with a British accent) Madonna let out to make room for her bloated ego as she went on stage to gloat about beating him.

Madonna dropped a vagina fart on Elton’s words and forced him to eat it. Elton wanted to strangle the smug fake Britishness out of Madonna’s tongue the same way her dress was strangling her chichis.

And Elton’s mad face slowly got even more mad as Madonna beat the Guinness World Record for saying the word “ME” approximately 45 million times in the span of 45 seconds. It was the highlight of the night for me, because I love it when old cunts fight.

But it didn’t stop there. Later last night, as Elton’s rage ate through a turkey drumstick that his chef sculpted to look like Madonna (completed with charred turkey gristle arms), his husband David Furnish spewed more bitter bitchiness on Facebook:

“Madonna. Best song???? Fuck off!!! Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in it’s narcissism. And her criticism of Gaga shows how desperate she really is.”

This feud is almost better than watching your abuelita on your mother’s side and your grandma on your father’s side fight over the last piece of cake in a cup at your birthday party.

You know, as much as I’d love to watch Madonna and Elton slap each other in the face with pristine white gloves, I’m going to need Queen Elizabeth to hit both of them with her pocketbook to show these not knowing hos who the real QUEEN is.
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