Happy 7,000 Pageviews A Day!!!

While I’m still coherent, I just want to thank all of you whores for making The Daze of My Life a roaring success. For the past week, the blog is now averaging SEVEN THOUSAND PAGEVIEWS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY! 

If I could give all of you a handjob while feeding you Dewberry Blueberry Cookies, I would. And I would do it with love.

I also want to thank each and every one of you for joining me in my journey through the world of fuckery. When I dry heaved, you dry heaved right next to me. When I slapped my nipples and pinched my taint, you slapped your nipples and pinched your taint right next to me. When I worshiped at the feet of Courtney Love, you logged off and called the National Center for Mental Health. WE DID IT TOGETHER! And hopefully, we’ll do it over and over again in the years to come.

Speaking of Courtney, here she is to give all of us a serving of her almost bare body (smells like Glenn Danzig’s kitty litter, formaldehyde, crime scene tape, an ash tray full of rain water, Carpet Fresh, boiled eggs and rancid tapioca).

Yes, Courtney looks like a Craigslist call girl passed out in a chair at Sogo Hotel after her last job of the day. On your knees and pray, bitches!

Now log off and call the National Center for Mental Health. I’ll be waiting with a Straitjacket Snuggie on.
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