Dark Shadows Sneak Peek: Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins

Looking like he’s had way too many Chemical Romances, Johnny Depp waves an acrylic prostate stabber in a new still from Tim Burton’s “Dark Shadows.” 

I’m not sure if he looks like a white goth NeNe Leakes (it’s the bangs and sharpened acrylic nail) to me or the love child that Liza Minnelli and Michael Jackson should’ve had together. That shit is unclear. But what’s crystal meth clear is that Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are majority shareholders in Urban Decay cosmetics.

I know some grown ex-goths in their 30s who are going to break into their old high schools, fix their old records so it looks like they actually flunked and then re-enroll just so they can miserably stomp through the halls with a “Dark Shadows” t-shirt over their fishnet top and a Dark Shadows lunchbox in their hand. It’s a GOTHSPIRACY!
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