“Twilight: Breaking Dawn” Made A Billion Dollars…

…Or less.

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1” opened in the US at midnight last Thursday and pulled in $30.3 million, proving once again that people absolutely eat this crap up with a soup spoon. The $30 million figure is in line with the midnight screening of the last Twilight, “Eclipse,” and slightly ahead of “New Moon” $26 million.

In other news, Stephanie Meyer just bought a gold-plated helicopter, which she won’t even use. She just thought her other helicopter looked lonely.

Bonus Movie Review: I haven’t watched “Breaking Dawn” but what can I say that you don’t expect me to say? I watched the first film in the saga, so I live by the assumption that the rest are just as terrible.

I mean, they couldn’t have thrown together a worse collection of actors if they formed a casting line at some godforsaken grocery store. But if my therapist told me that I had to pick one positive thing to focus on, I would say that Ashley Greene could make me watch Alzheimer’s patients reenact “Glitter.”
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