The Shallow Man’s Top 5 Worst Ass Tattoos Ever

Tattoos are a very personal decision. But they are a personal decision that people love to show off and take pictures of. That’s good news for us as it means we get to comment on them. We all know there are some bad tattoos out there. We just didn’t realize how bad. Our one question is, what the fuck has a unicorn ever done to you? Let’s get on with the five worst ass tattoos.

5. The I’ll Be Trying To Remove Your Hand Print Once You Sleep With My Best Friend Tattoo
A hand slap to the ass is a good thing. A sting, that redness of flesh. This picture is what started it all. We thought it was a picture of an ass after a spanking which was exciting. Realizing it’s a tattoo made it less so. A lot less.

4. The Cock-Headed Unicorn Tattoo
Unicorns tattoos are hard to pull off for anyone. Listen very carefully. Unicorn tattoos are hard to pull off. Adding drool and a penis where the horn should be. Interesting. Now you’ve stepped right out of goofy district and well into “where the fuck is my pepper spray” territory.

3. The Ass As A Revolving Door Tattoo

Anything mimicking a mine with picks, axes and six dwarves (I guess number seven was still at work) going in and out of should be nowhere near your ass. Ever.

2. The Nazi Unicorn Tattoo
Nothing says white power like a unicorn and a rainbow. The tattoo message confused us. Was it that unicorns are secret Nazis? Or that Nazis were secretly really, really super gay? Or maybe it was because this guy who had this tattooed on him was actually just a dick? We searched until we found out the story behind the racist unicorn. Turns out the guys is actually just a dick. Read about it on BME.

1. The My Ass Is Going To Be The Ass Of An Animal, Because I’m That Hardcore Tattoo
Oh. Oh God. No words. But we think the starfish may be bleeding to death.
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