Drunk, Stupid Twilight Fan Drives To “Breaking Dawn” On 3 Tires

18-year-old Olivia Ornelas was arrested in a ditch after midnight Saturday. Police say she had been driving without a right front tire (which any mechanic will tell you is generally inadvisable), and when they found her, Ornelas told police she was upset because her boyfriend had reneged on a promise to take her to see “Twilight: Breaking Dawn” that day.

Silly Twi-hard! LOVE CONQUERS VAMPIRES, NOT PHYSICS!


KCSO deputy observed a car in the ditch on Rt. 71/East Highpoint Rd. Upon further investigation Ornelas was driving with no right front tire and was extremely intoxicated.

Ornelas advised that she was extremely upset with her boyfriend because she did not see the movie Twilight like they were suppose to. Ornelas was arrested for DUI and unlawful consumption of alcohol by a minor.


Drunk in a ditch demanding abstinence parables is no way to go through life. Perhaps the most surprising part of this story is that she isn’t way fatter. And I’m shocked, SHOCKED to find that a girl whose notions of romance involve a man that never wants sex and stays awake all night staring at you while you sleep is having trouble with real relationships. Yes, I was being sarcastic.

And below is the Twi-hard of all Twi-hards, Nutty Madam, giving her reaction to the “Breaking Dawn” trailer while she’s watching it, giving a full body quivering orgasm that probably made her chair break the same way RPattz broke that damn bed. In a matter of minutes, bitch’s face is taking us from “falling in love with a puppy” to “watching a puppy get disemboweled.”

And then when they get to the sex shit…lord! I bet Nutty Madam’s cats were doing the backstroke in a river of panty pudding below her. Seriously, this shit should be the real trailer.

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