Kim Delaney Needs A Moment…Or Two

The word MESS cannot even begin to describe the awkwardness Kim Delaney from “Army Wives” filled the stage with at the National Constitution Center in Washington DC last night. Kim, who has had problems with the bottle before, was supposed to give a speech during the Liberty Medal Award presentation to Former US Defense Secretary Robert Gates, but she ended up earning a bus ticket to the nearest drying out center instead.

Last night was not the time for Kim to show off the skills she learned at Gary Busey’s Drunken Speech Academy. Kim uncomfortably slurred on like a first grader on downers who really has to pee during their book report speech before a crew member issued a SIT DOWN BITCH on her in the politest way possible.

From E! Online:

The disheveled actress, who has been treated for alcohol abuse in the past, shocked the military audience by slurring her words, making strange gestures and fibbing about her own experience in the armed services.

At the event honoring former defense secretary Robert Gates, Delaney rambled on the podium about “having served in active military duty family for five years.”

“I’ve seen soldiers come home with painful life-altering injuries borne of their time and service,” she slurred. “I’ve attended numerous military funerals, including that of my best friend’s son.”

It’s important to note that when she talks about the funeral of her best friend’s son, she means, “on a TV show.” Not in real life. I don’t mean to be pedantic, but that’s not really the same thing.

Kim is probably still resting her head inside of a comfortable toilet bowl this morning, so she hasn’t said a thing about this mess. But if I was her, I’d blame it all on the teleprompter. When all else fails, use the “I wasn’t drunk, the teleprompter was drunk” excuse.
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