Hot Slut of the Day: Harper The Pitbull Puppy


Meet Harper, an 11-month-old pit bull puppy who has a sweetness in her eyes that will make even Lucifer take the day off and a twinkle in her smile that is killing my hangover with awwwwwws. By looking at her tiny happy face, you’d never guess that Harper has already been fucked once by humanity when some evil cunt monster of the highest order tossed her in a trash bag like a common piece of Kardashian. 


The man who put Harper in the bag was selling other pit bull puppies outside of a Save-A-Lot in Florida and said that he couldn’t sell her, because she was born with “swimmer puppy disorder,” a sometimes fatal disorder that keeps doggies from struttin’ and walking.


The man gave away Harper for free and was brought to a shelter where vets said there was not much they could do. Erica Daniel, who regularly visits that shelter, wanted Harper to have one nice night before sliding up through the cloud tunnel up to heaven, so she took her home and planned to bring her back to the shelter in the morning to be euthanized. But (Dear Kelly Rowland, don’t sing along with this next line) love took over and Erica decided to keep Harper after watching her try to walk on her own.


Erica took Harper to another vet who ran some tests and said that her internal organs are fine and he didn’t think she needed to go on a one-time date with the lethal injection needle. With a lot of therapy, Harper is already doing better and can strut her ass on grass. Here is Harper’s story from Today:



And no, of course those are not actual human tears trickling down your cheek. A rain cloud has miraculously swept into your house and is only raining on top of your face. Or an onion farted in your eyes. That’s my story too.
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