The Perfect Day


6am
Alarm.

6:15am
Blowjob.

6:30am
Massive, satisfying dump while reading the sports section

7:00am
Breakfast.
Rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast all cooked by naked buxom wench.

7:30am
Limo arrives.

7:45am
Several whiskies en-route to airport.

9:15am
Flight in personal Lear jet.

9:30am
Limo to golf club.
Blowjob en-route.

9:45am
Play front-nine.
2 under.

11:45pm
Lunch.
Pie, chips and gravy, three lagers and bottle of J&B.

12:10pm
Blowjob.

12:15pm
Play back nine.
4 under.

2:15pm
Limo back to airport.
Several whiskies.

2:30pm
Fly to Monte Carlo.

3:30pm
Late afternoon fishing excursion with all-female crew.
All nude.

4:30pm
Land world-record marlin.
1,800 lbs on light tackle.

5:00pm
Fly home, massage and handjob by Megan Fox

6:45pm
Shit, shower and shave.

7:00pm
Watch news: Robert Pattinson assassinated.
Marijuana and porn legalized.

7:30pm
Dinner, lobster appetizers, 1953 vintage Dom Perignon, big juicy steak followed by ice cream served on a pair of tits.

8:00pm
Brandy and Cuban cigar in front of wall-size TV as I watch basketball.
Lakers beating Celtics 150-0.

9:30pm
Line of cocaine.
Sex with three women.
All with lesbian tendencies.

11:00pm
Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snack and cleansing ale.

11:30pm
A nightcap blowjob.

11:45pm
In bed alone.

11:50pm
A 12-second fart which changes pitch four times and forces the dog to leave the room.

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