The MTV VMAs: Selena Gomez Saves The Day

Selena Gomez was one of the very few bright spots at the VMAs, despite the fact that I’ve never heard one of her songs or seen one of her videos. I’m not even positive if she has any. She might not even have a tongue for all I know.

But she seems to be getting sluttier by the minute, which is actually uncomfortable because she still looks like a little kid. Am I supposed to have sex with her or make teddy bear pancakes?

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