Michael Bay Demands Wingsuits, Base Jumping In Transformers 3


Although Michael Bay might be a total shithead when it comes to things like “dialogue” and “storytelling,” he practically has a Ph.D. in demanding that his movies include things that are awesome.

In this new video, awesome means stuntmen wingsuit base jumping off the Sears Tower. The Transformers 3 featurette focuses on the making of my favorite scene, where Lieutenant Josh Duhamel of the 101st Xtreme Sports Division, Wingsuit Platoon leads his men on a dangerous base jumping mission.  In addition to the wingsuit footage, it shows Michael Bay’s writing process happening just the way I’d always imagined it:



“So Michael Bay watched 60 Minutes one night, and he saw Jillian and I flying around mountains in Norway.  He basically called Spielberg and was like, ‘I gotta have wingsuits in Transformers 3.’”


“Michael took that idea though, and of course… made it bigger.”

And on that note…

HOW TO WRITE A MICHAEL BAY MOVIE FOR DUMMIES


Step 1: Michael Bay sees something cool on TV


Step 2: Michael Bay asks Spielberg if he can put it in his movie


Step 3: Michael Bay demands screenwriters shoehorn cool thing into plot of movie


Step 4: New script


Step 5: NOT AWESOME ENOUGH!


Step 6: Re-write


Step 7: “THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT THE DECEPTICONS IS TO RETRIEVE THE DELFINIUM CRYSTAL!”


“But the only way to get that is–”


“WING SUITS.”


“Through the Valley of the Exploding Shrapnel!?  But that’s–”


“SUICIDE. I KNOW. BUT IT’S ALL WE’VE GOT. NOW LET’S GO OUT THERE AND DIE LIKE SOLDIERS.”


(Slow motion bro-high five while low-angle camera spins around them)
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