This Is My Future (Hopefully)



When I finally retire from being a professional drunk hater, I really hope that like ol’ white girl here, I can spend my better days bringing the party to the pool areas of various Central Florida (or wherever the hell this is) resorts.

When I’m not passed out in a puddle of slobber and wine cooler that didn’t make it down all the way, I’ll slip on my purple floral Speedo and let my fupa lead me to an absolutely random and bizarre hip hop pool party where nobody is dancing.

I’ll bless the sky with my ass before blessing the pavement with that same ass. Not giving a fuck is living the life!
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