Kunty Karl Lagerfeld Eats With His Nose

In order to fit into a pair of -10 jeans, former Chanel and Fendi head designer Karl Lagerfeld’s entire digestive system was removed, so now he gets his nutrients from feeding off of the gasps the audience at his fashion shows make when he sends a $3,000 cobweb tunic down the runway. And he also gets life when he listens to the remaining fat on a model eating away at itself after she snorts a line of the bad shit. So because of this, I thought it was a little crotch-scratching strange when Magnum Ice Cream hired Karl to direct their commercial starring Rachel Bilson.

I used to think that Karl Lagerfeld and ice cream went together like Donald Trump and common sense. But Kunty Karl tells W Magazine that he’s actually a perfect fit since his father was a milkman of sorts and he looooooves chocolate even if it never passes through his zombie lips.

W Magazine: So why ice cream?
Kunty Karl: Don’t forget my father was a milkman. He produced Carnation milk in Europe under different names, so I like to say he was a milkman. And ice cream is made with milk, no?

W Magazine: Do you eat it?
Kunty Karl: I would love to if I was allowed to eat sugar, but my doctor told me that sugar wasn’t needed for me so I haven’t touched it in ten years. I also did the ad for Dom Pérignon and I don’t drink alcohol, but I think it’s a very civilized drink.

W Magazine: Do you crave sugar?
Kunty Karl: No. Gone. But I like chocolate. I don’t eat it, but I like the smell of it. People can drink with their eyes; I can eat with my nose. I would love to have a perfume based on chocolate.

“I can eat with my nose.” – Lindsay Lohan’s newest diet mantra :)
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