When your arms are a successful hiding place for your waist during a game of hide-and-seek, you know you’re a serious kind of skinny. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t end my nights by staring at Victoria’s Secret
But hasn’t Candice always been so damn skinny that you could use her hipbones as a step stool to climb up a palm tree and grab a coconut which you’d crack open on one of her razor sharp elbows?
(Side note: Candice would be awesome on “Survivor
Even though I’m pretty sure that Candice’s thighs have never formally met, the likes of the Daily Mail are still crying out shit like: “Fears for Victoria’s Secret model: Candice Swanepoel’s shocking weight loss at swimwear
And of course there’s a bunch of comments like: “EAT A CHEESEBURGER!,” “HANG OUT WITH KIRSTIE ALLEY
Some of them might have a point, but her metabolism was way too busy with shit to accept my calls so I don’t know. But I do know that Candice would make an amazing friend. Imagine walking down the street with her skinny ass and hos start throwing cheeseburgers, McDonald’s
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