The Drunk Alphabet



This clip from a cop car cam shows a drunk lady in Ohio trying to recite the alphabet and count from 69 after she was pulled over for possible DUI. Homegirl didn’t say the alphabet the way most of us say it, she did it the Jessica Simpson way and skipped a few of the least popular letters.

But the thing is, is this a drunk ho test or the damn kindergarten SATs?! Shit. Dumb shit drunk drivers already have to worry about killing themselves and others on the road, and now they have to worry about sharpening the No. 2 pencil in their heads to take a test if they get pulled over? Whatever happened to the days when drunks just blew on something (e.g. breathalyzer, cock, etc.) and called it a night?

And that cop isn’t right. When her drunk ass went from D to F to W to Z back to L, that should’ve been his cue to lock her up instead of telling her to go on. He just wanted to keep laughing at the drunk sad ass.
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