Four Words: Pole Dancing For Jesus

If the intermission during Sunday service included a pole dancer sliding around a crucifix on the altar, I would totally reserve a seat in the first pew every single week!

Checc out this report from MyFox Houston of an ex-stripper named Crystal Deans (that’s a really hot name) who teaches her fellow churchgoers how to work the pole IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

Crystal is trying to wash away the stigma of pole dancing and says they are just working out…IN EXQUISITE LUCITE HEELS. I’ve always said that Lucite is made from the distilled tears of angels, so Crystal is doing everything right! Can I get an AMEN?!

And can I also get a lap dance in the confessional? And do I put a dollar in her G-string or just throw it in the basket?

Sweet baby Jesus, Joey is going to Hell!
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