Coochie Trauma Alert


Janet Jackson and her labia-crushing Tron suit hit Toronto recently and the look on Janet’s face accurately expresses how her crotch is feeling at that very moment.

That shit looks like a camel toe with Morton’s syndrome. Like a baby mole trapped inside of a plastic bag.

Not only is Janet flattening her clit like a fettuccine noodle, but this is also fueling the old rumor that she’s got bendy straws for ribs.

I bet Janet employs a full-time CPR technician who gets her coochie breathing again as soon as she gets off stage. Hmmm. Maybe that’s the whole point. Janet might be a genius :)
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